ohio ...

is the worst state ever. some intern "lost" 800,000 social security numbers, and is getting blamed for it.
"I was a victim of a random car theft and now I am the scapegoat for the State of Ohio" he says.
so not worth the $10.50 an hour. his first mistake was being in ohio in the first place.

speaking of states, this is an awesome site. state-tris! the hard level is actually really hard. truth in advertising.

the funny thing about botulism ...

is that it's the main ingredient in botox, the stuff that rich, bored housewives (and everyone else) inject in their faces to look young and immovable.

everyone loves it until it shows up in canned chili, and makes children (oh the children!) sick.

lessons learned:
poison in face = good
poison in canned meet = bad

raining cats and dogs

lots of random pet news/sites today. i don't even like animals, but i thought the deluge of info was a sign from god.

maggie, part god, sent me one of these two cute sites that even i can appreciate: stuff on my cat and stuff on my mutt. i especially like the pics that involve beer bottles and boxes. (cats and beer! funny!)

next is the grim reaper cat, which isn't as funny as "death" on family guy, but definitely more creepy.


apparently the cat predicts when hospice patients die. i offer an alternate theory: this cat actually kills people. that is so not cute.

lastly, i half-wrote a post for my work blog about cats and dogs and full moons. i will link once the posts go live. check for updates.

UPDATE: papertrail link to dogs, cats, full moons and a joke about menstruation. you can't wait. i can tell.

the end (of facebook) is near?

the ongoing legal saga between ubergeek mark zuckerberg and three other nerds could potentially lead to the shutdown of the lifeblood known as facebook.

zuckerberg is accused of being an overall jerkface:

The owners of a rival social networking Web site are trying to shut down Facebook.com, charging in a federal lawsuit that Facebook's founder stole their ideas while they were students at Harvard.
The three founders of ConnectU say Mark Zuckerberg agreed to finish computer code for their site, but repeatedly stalled and eventually created Facebook using their ideas.
The lawsuit's allegations against Zuckerberg include fraud, copyright infringement and misappropriation of trade secrets. It asks the court to shut down Facebook and give control of the company and its assets to ConnectU's founders.

if it's true, then down w/ "switching to guns" zuckerberg. however, do these three really want to be the dudes that destroyed a multitude of social lives? that tainted the veil of web 2.0's messiah? that ended a rich, white, well educated era?
that's even too much responsibility for me.

our government funds this research

and it makes me cry. an e-mail i got from a co-worker today.

Mizzou Study Shows That Possessing a Fake ID Results in More Drinking by Underage College Students

COLUMBIA, Mo. – For college students under the age of 21, possessing a fake ID is a tell-tale sign of underage drinking.

making a joke here = too easy

Over the course of four semesters, fake ID ownership increased from 12.5 percent to 32.2 percent among students younger than the legal drinking age.
The study also revealed that students belonging to fraternities or sororities were more likely to own a fake ID.

score one for the greek system.

editors and writers

i've been both, and everything i've ever wanted to say about the experiences, even as they continue to happen, appear here in this article.

Some utopians may dream that an anarcho-Wikipedia model will prevail, that a vast self-correcting democracy of amateurs will end up pointing readers to the most worthwhile pieces. But that is only "editing" in its crudest, most general form -- it's really sorting. In the chaotic new online universe, the old-fashioned, elitist, non-democratic system of sorting information will become increasingly important, if only because it enforces a salutary reduction of the sheer mind-swamping number of options available. The real problem is glut, and it's only going to get worse.

worst name for a serious publication, ever

"bend weekly news"

protest fun

if there's anything that dc-ites love to do, it's protest. here is a nice picket line that's going on one block from my house.




i talked to one of the union organizers at this protest, and above the chants ("who's the rat? BOOOOOOOOO. who's the rat? BOOOOOOOOOOO!") he said they were protesting low wages, shady practices, scab workers, the whole anti-union bag of tricks.
these carpenters work for form construction (obv), who have been contracted by the building's property manager (don't know) who is renting the space out to, get this, the associated press. now i haven't been able to confirm this with a cursory google search, but if it's true, then that's ridiculous. since when were unions and the crazy liberal media on opposite sides?
but to be completely self-centered, it's kind of cool that the associated press is going to have offices one block from my apt.

restaurant week

some of you have asked via facebook wall: what is restaurant week?
here's the official website, but i suppose i can put it in my own words.
think of all the insanely expensive restaurants in DC, or any big city, and then take a week where all those places became slightly less insane. all the participating restaurants serve 3-course, fixed-price meals; this year, $30.07 for dinner, $20.07 for lunch.
the key is to find the absolutely most expensive places so you get your money's worth. i have four eateries in the works, and perhaps i will blog about them in almost real time. i'll try to take pictures, maybe take notes, even though that's really tacky. i sacrifice so much for this blog.

the four places i plan on going to are:
ceiba - latin american
urbana - italian/french
vidalia - upscale comfort food
mie n yu - asian fusion

the whole thing is sponsored by the dc tourism board (and i know boston has a similar deal), but it seems as if mostly locals take advantage. it's sort of a big deal and reservations can be a pain in the ass if you aren't flexible.

lastly, why do asian restaurants have the worst names ever? it's embarrassing.

i take the stairs to my 7th floor apartment

my new "workout regimen" takes me past this sign almost every day.


this sign, which is in the stairwell, is completely worthless as a fire safety measure. however, i have to say, this is the happiest i've ever seen a stick figure running away from a fire. if only i could have so much composure.

i'm famous

i think.

mediabistro.com is a site about the media
fishbowl DC is a newsletter about the DC media.

so my appearance on the morning rundown must make me important.

innocent until proven guilty

but then why the payoff?

two university of missouri-kansas city professors are accused of sexual harassment after they allegedly "created a hostile environment by seeking sexual favors, circulating torture videos and pornography, and physically intimidating female lab students and employees."

In often graphic terms, the suit described an environment at the lab, then known as the Health Research Group, in which women were groped, fondled, subjected to explicit sexual comments and sexual advances, and generally made to understand that they needed to go along with the professors’ behavior if they wanted to advance their careers.

five complainants, two million-dollar payoffs. i don't like jumping to conclusions, but this one is tough to ignore. and yet somehow these disgusting specimens got promoted into professorships. everything that's wrong with the world is in this story.

at least one guy is going to have a really crappy monday

and that guy would be the one who was driving in dc on his merrily way and then: BAM hits a kid running across the street. luckily, the boy only had a scraped up face and a bloody nose, but everyone else didn't fare so well. the mom was freaking out and crying and screaming; the driver was distressed, looking pale and ready to vomit; and the police officer was thoroughly frustrated since the parents spoke zero english and couldn't explain what happened and didn't understand that they needed to show some sort of ID (whether they had it or not, who knows). meanwhile, the child was smiling and jumping up and down, apparently amused by his own resilience. oh kids.

i love my commute to work.

also, i'm attempting to keep up w/ my other blog (the one that allows me an outlet for my materialism). since my workload seems to be increasing exponentially, the resurgence of a third blog makes perfect sense.

dan's cafe

the diviest of dive bars. i've been there once, and the night ended with so much debauchery that even i reconsider going back. here is a perfect description of what the place is like:

At Dan’s Cafe instead of ordering a drink, you pick a mini bottle of liquor hanging on a shelf towards the back. The “bartender” then opens the bottle and pours it into a glass. He gives you a bucket of ice, a mixer of your choice, an empty glass, and then tells you to sit your ass down and not cause any trouble. The only thing missing is a bulletproof shield around the cashier.

love this city.

the problem with china

not the horrible human rights violations perpetuated against the falun gong. not the execution (overreact much?) of corrupt food and drug officials. not its tireless persecution of taiwan or the sweat shops or the bad dog food or the completely unstable economy. not even the suppression of journalists and free speech.

the real problem with china is that they serve people cardboard and say it's pork. china, don't you dare ever mess with such beauty.

big news folks

i am no longer an intern. i hope i will never be an intern ever again. first thing's first: go to the dentist. go to the doctor. start ::gasp:: saving money?

i have some fancy title now, but let's be honest, i'm gonna do the exact same thing as before. sweet.

cop shows, part 2

if you noticed from my previous post, i started listing tv-related commentary and made one point, but then didn't follow up with any more. that's because i fell asleep mid-post, but i continue my thoughts today.

2. i'm sick and tired of this murder scenario: girl from minority family—either arab/muslum/korean/chinese—gets killed. she comes from a tight-knit, traditional immigrant family. she has parents who barely speak english and the protective brother who takes care of everything. they usually own some sort of bodega or city grocery store. then the detectives wend their way around the girl's life. they find out she has a white boy fetish. maybe she's dating a white guy who has a temper (b/c all white guys have tempers). he is always the first and main suspect. miscellaneous things happen, and then SURPRISE! it's the brother who ended killing her. usually because she somehow "brought shame" upon the family and also b/c that slut was living the free and easy life he never got to live b/c he was too busy taking care of the store. the killing usually happens in a fury, after she mouths off to her brother, and then there is always the crying scene at the end where he's all "i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry."
anyway, i know at least two law and order episodes (here) and (here) that have had this plot, and i watched a without a trace last night that did the same thing. i don't watch CSI enough (or any other procedurals for that matter) to say definitively whether they had any stories like this, but i would bet my own first-born male heir that they did.
i'm not sure how i feel about this, except for the fact that it's lazy and uncreative. does it make male foreigners look bad and make immigrant families seem backwards and crazy. maybe. is it racist? maybe. it's interesting that it's always the younger, female sibling that gets killed, and how she almost always has a white boyfriend. obviously the gender thing is a plot device (women generally aren't going to be strong enough to whack a disrespectful brother over the head and kill him), but it also touches on a lot of cultural stereotypes and the persistence of lazy writing. perhaps most annoying is that it's rare when these shows focus on asians or arabs, so when they do, and it's the same old shit, i have to say i'm kind of disappointed.

3. lastly. why does david caruso have his own show? he was terrible in nypd blue, and he's terrible in csi miami. THIS MAN SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO SPEAK ON TV.

ali out.

jack attack

i watch a lot of worthless cop-ish shows and i've noticed a trend or two.

1. why do law enforcement shows have an affinity for the name "jack?" usually it's the male lead, and he is usually sort of badass. off the top of my head: bauer from 24, mccoy from law and order, malone from without a trace, and lastly chris odonnell's character in the new CIA show "the company." and if i looked, i'm sure i could find more.
i realize that its monosyllabicism is very fun to scream ("JACK!! watch out!!") and that the "ck" sound at the end is tough, but there are many names in the world.

i have more rants about cop shows. saved for later.

but the kid looks so happy!

ikea ads. i think the 3rd is the best.


i need some furniture immediately.

proof that telecom companies have way too much power

sprint nextel has cut off 1,000 of its most complaining subscribers who called customer service an average of 25 times a month, while some called 300 times a month.

i enjoy sprint's stand on this. very ballsy, and i like that. "you people are so effing annoying, we're just going to not deal with you." 300 times a month. that's 10 times a day. the manpower it takes to deal with that many calls from one person probably costs more than however much that person is paying for his/her cell phone service. granted, your word-of-mouth reputation might suffer, but whoever is calling that much per day either 1) doesn't have many friends and 2) has no credibility whatsoever (or both).

what this does sadly indicate is that phone companies really don't have to follow any of the capitalist rules. the customer is always right? not unless four giant companies have a complete monopoly over an industry and won't let you choose the phone you want with the features you want with the plan you want. my 11-year-old cousin in the philippines has a cheaper yet better working phone than me, and probably doesn't have to worry about getting cut off if she starts whining.

it's one of those things that you don't even know is broken until you go to another country and realize that there is a better way. we are all getting pwned by our cell phone carriers, and don't even know it.

i'm not so much an animal person

so this is pretty funny to me.

How Should A Local News Outlet Illustrate A Rabies Threat?


RABIES ALERT!

independence day lesson: i need to marry a doctor

to start off the 4th of july festivities, roommate and i listened to tchaikovsky's 1812 overture, which was a tribute to the russian revolution, but inspiring nonetheless (FREEDOM FROM TYRANNY, FUCK YEAH). we bounced over to a big ten domination house party in the northeast (aka, ghetto) and drank beer and watched illegal fireworks. this was a true class warrior type party.

i met two cute med students (one was actually flat-out hot), and decided that i'm so over anyone who won't soon be an m.d. i was pretty sure "hot, tall, single doctor" was beyond oxymoronic, but hope has been restored. i also think i have exponentially better chances than other chickies in snagging a doctor, since both my parents' occupations preclude me from looking like a complete gold digger (whether it's truth or not, whatever). i just want to marry my father. right?

i didn't get any #'s, but that's ok. it's just nice to meet some attractive people in the heart of washington DC (dog city).

p.s. a guy at this bbq was wearing this shirt:


i don't care about your political persuasion. this is hilarious.

same girl, part 2

for whatever reason, the site that hosted my old blogger profile pic (the one of mulan that drove tons of traffic to my site) went down. i needed a new image to really represent me. i'm a fan of the one i'm using now, but in the process i learned a fun lesson in taking images out of context.


this was one option, and i like this picture enough, but it's not ultimately what i wanted to convey. i look really emo. basically i look like a tool. the only reason i considered it was because it was actually cropped from this much more awesome pic:


i look so tough and ghetto; very representative of my upbringing in the 313. unfortch (yeah, i said it), the first one resembles about 80 percent of all facebook profile pics. what losers.

same girl

back in middle school, my favorite song ever was "the boy is mine" by brandy and monica. seriously. i had one of those single tapes and played it over and over until my soccer teammates wanted to kill me. on the b-side of the tape, there was a karaoke version of the song, and i could sing the entire thing without any verbal cues. love that mekhi phifer.

anyway, usher and r.kelly's new duet, "same girl," reminds me of that song. please, if you love yourself, watch the video, and watch it to the end. also carefully listen to the lyrical genius of the two. kings of R&B and hip hop? now we know why.

chicago mayor daley sort of rocks my socks off

the fashion mecca of the midwest has a pretty important supporter: its own mayor. personally, i think dc could use a "Fashion Advisory Council."


check out fenty
you should see what i have to see every day. and pearls worn without irony should be banned.

passive aggressive note writers, you know who you are

passiveaggressivenotes.com: i've run across this blog a couple times, and it never gets old. wish i thought of it myself.

can't resist the german engineering

from the forums:
step 1: ask wife to sleep with another man
step 2: sue man for stealing your wife
step 3: profit

best part is that the name of the "other man" is german. not german-sounding or rooted in german ancestry, but his actual name is "german." no wonder he was able to pull such serious game.

and just to put smiles on everyone's faces, some hope sprung eternal:


this was sent to me separately by both jesse and maggie, under the title "chris farley lives!" poor thing.