proof that my life is in shambles

heading out the door today, i decided i needed a little snack before work (some would call this "breakfast"). i saw a bag of chips and thought, "hah! finally, i get to eat my roommates' food and screw them over like they've screwed me over time and time again."
it wasn't until i was stuffing oily potatoes in my mouth that i realized that i had actually bought those chips in a drunken haze. it totally explains the greasy hangover two weeks back, and also explains why the chips were in my cabinet. i have once again foiled my own diabolical plan.